Ex-SPY writer Joe Queenan, once (okay, more than once) made fun of Kitty Dukakis for her drinking problem with the explanation that he "was a meanaholic and couldn't control his impulses." I wish I could say that I'm a nice person, and that I can't relate, but I just read that Keanu Reeves is giving the special effects team behind the Matrix what amounts to £1.75 million per person because he just "doesn't need the money," and not making a smartass comment about Keanu is complete torture. He's running around giving people money, and clearly deserves a pat on the back, but I can't help but think that maybe he's giving money away because two of his three brain cells are no longer functioning properly and...oh my god, I really can't stop myself. Keanu: Dude! Like, good job! Seriously!
Keanu Reeves gives 50 million to unsung heroes of the Matrix [Hello!]