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"The DNA of New York, and our readers' expectations, dictate that this magazine should have attitude, be provocative, be highly opinionated, take risks." New York Magazine Editor-in-Chief Caroline Miller.

I had some extra time on my hands so I developed a new game: Spot the Attitude, Provocation, Opinions, and Risks in This Week's Issue of New York Magazinewhich I've shortened to the easily pronounceable acronym, "STAPORITWONYM." Here goes:

The cover: New York Mag snags exclusive photographs of two bowls of sorbet. (Sorbets, photographed in the wild! Daring! And with no photo retouching!) "Attitude" spotted: NY Mag says "raspberry" when the conventional wisdom says, "chocolate!"

Feature article: "Tastes of Summer": by Gillian Duffy.
"Basta Pasta": NY Mag declares that New York has officially consummated its love affair with Italian food." (This technically constitutes an opinion and is, therefore, "opinionated.") But do New Yorkers really love Italian food? (Provocation.) Last, but not least: risky Italian food recipes! (Martha was never this subversive!)

Next section:
"The New Cubism": kebabs and "showstopping salads." (Showstopping salads?!?! Too much excitement! Too much excitement! AAAIIIEEEE!!!)

I'm planning to eventually read the rest of the feature section, but...oh, who are we kidding? No, I'm not.

Related posts I haven't done yet:
· From the "party tricks" department: Time Out NY or NY Mag? No one knows! They're completely indistinguishable!
· Conspiracy theory du jour: NY Mag Secretly Being Run from a Storage Closet at Daily Candy. Increased Use of Exclamation Marks Already Apparent.
· Service journalism meets the New Journalism: Tom Wolfe makes hamburger recommendations; Gloria Steinem covers this week's hot new sample sales; and Clay Felker weeps profusely.
· Miscellaneous headlines: New York Public Library employee mistakenly files incoming New York Mags in self-help section.