An anonymous Gawker reader endeavors to get the single portion of the Gawker readership laid via Friendster the online-dating-with-plausible-denial service that's gotten very popular as of late: "At the behest of my parole counselor and having been turned down at soup kitchens, abuse shelters, the school for the blind, and as Jayson Blair's conscience, I have decided to complete my court-mandated commnity service by helping out my fellow Gawker readers. Now, dear reader, you can meet like-minded gossipbloggering, media-obsessed, quasi-intellectual, snarky, elitist, pseudo-hipsters with obsessive-compulsive fixations on third-tier celebrities. (Trucker hats optional.) Simply send an email to gawker_friendster@yahoo.com to receive an invite.

Now I wish I could say I was doing this to cultivate a sense of community or foster a deeper connection with my fellow New Yorker, but honestly I'm just hoping you finally get some play. I'm tired of hearing you whine all the time about how long it's been since you got some and I don't even want to begin to know what you're doing in the bathroom late at night with my copy of Vogue. Okay, those Gucci ads are kind of hot, but come on. Now we are not promising love, however if it does lead to a menaingful relationship we take all the credit, expect 10% of the dowry as a finder's fee and if it results in more than one child, demand that at least one be named after us."