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According to Madonna's official website (no, it's not kabbalah.com, you're incorrigible!), tonight's show at the LA Forum has been canceled. "Madonna has the stomach flu and was ordered by her doctor to rest this evening. She will be back at 100% and can't wait to entertain her fans!!!!" [Ed.note—Totally retarded exuberance theirs.]

A reader speculates about what gave Madonna the tummy ache: "Hmm- considering the b-list 'stars' that showed up last night for the show and after party - Fran Drescher, David Spade, Debi Mazar, and Norman Lear (?!) - no wonder she's ill ..."