Ever wonder why your friends and coworkers at The Cheesecake Factory only have nice things to say about your most recent play/screenplay/acting gig, which, deep down, you know is god-awful? Actor/gameshow host Regan Burns translates the ambiguously positive remarks of the "Hollywood Lie" your peers deliver through a forced smile and gritted teeth. Don't worry, you can still have the last laugh. Peeing in a producer friend's food is a time-worn Hollywood revenge.

For screenwriters:

Comment: "I read your screenplay and I think it has a lot of promise."
Meaning: "If you flip over all the pages, they are blank, so you can write something completely different on them."

Comment: "Some of the characters spoke to me more than others." Meaning: "Are some of the characters supposed to be retarded?"

For actors:

Comment: "You were so funny. Did you improv those lines?"
Meaning: "You were so over the top that I have to imagine you made that shit up in order to appear funnier."

Comment: "The camera loves you!"
Meaning: "You can't act, but I'd sleep with you."